Jada Pinkett Smith was rocked by a painful revelation from her daughter, Willow Smith, on Monday’s episode of her Facebook talk show, “Red Table Talks.”
The two were joined by Jada’s mother, Adrienne Banfield-Jones, to discuss the topic of loss, an issue that brought up issues from Willow’s past and led to Jada reflecting on Tupac Shakur’s death. For Willow, now 17, she felt she lost her “sanity” after the release of “Whip My Hair” back in 2010.
“I honestly feel like I lost my sanity at one point. It was after that whole ‘Whip My Hair’ thing and and I had just stopped doing singing lessons and I was kind of just in this gray area of, ‘Who am I? Do I have a purpose? Is there anything I can do besides this?'” she explained. “After the tour, the promotion and all that, they wanted me to finish my album and I was like, I’m not going to do that.”
“After all of that kinda settled down and it was like a kind of lull, I was just listening to a lot of dark music. It was just so crazy and I was plunged into this black hole, and I was cutting myself,” she continued.
Pinkett Smith was shocked. “What? Really? I didn’t see that part. Cutting myself where?” the concerned mother asked, to which the teenager responded, “On my wrist. You can’t see it. I totally lost my sanity there.”
Willow said she didn’t tell her brothers about what she was doing and only confided in one friend. “I never talk about it because it was such a short, weird point in my life,” she said. “I honestly felt like I was experiencing so much emotional pain, but my physical circumstances weren’t reflecting that. One night I was like, this is actually psychotic and after that I just stopped.”
“That’s good to freakin’ know, Willow, I had no idea,” said Jada. “I never saw any signs of that.”
The conversation then led to Jada addressing some of the losses she’s suffered in life, including good friend Tupac.
“I’ve had a lot of loss. So many of my close friends, gone. Didn’t make it to 30, they didn’t make it past 25,” she said. “A lot of people talk about my relationship with Pac and trying to figure that out. That was a huge loss in my life. Because he was one of those people that I expected to be here. My upset is more anger, because I feel that he left me and I know that’s not true and it’s a very selfish way to think about it, but I really did believe that he was going to be here for the long run. When I think about it, I still get really mad, I get mad at God, I get mat at him, I get mad at everybody.”
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